Book Review: Losing It: How We Popped Our Cherry Over the Last 80 Years by Kate Monroe

Losing It: How We Popped Our Cherry Over the Last 80 Years
Kate Monroe

The official blurb:
In an increasingly sexualized world, how we lose our virginity remains an untold story. Inspired by her Cosmopolitan award-nominated blog, The Virginity Project, Kate Monro sets out to ask men and women from every walk of life, how did it happen for you? Losing It brings together an astonishing collection of stories.

From the experiences of Edna, who lost her virginity in 1940 aged 25, to Charlie, a young, disabled punk rocker whose first-time experience many able-bodied people would envy, Kate reveals the poignant, funny and often surprising truth about other people’s most intimate sexual stories.

Kate says, “I think ultimately what brings men and women to tell me their stories is that we all have an innate desire to want to compare our experiences with other people. We all just want some sort of affirmation to know that we are normal.”


Kate Monro’s book may be billed as “this is how I lost my virginity” but don’t let the title dissuade you. It’s much more than that. A collection of stories and interviews from people of all ages, generations, backgrounds and sexualities, LOSING IT is a peek at the reality behind first times and what “first time” can actually mean. Many stories highlight the fact that many people don’t consider the first act of penetration to be the moment they lost their virginity. Most contributors felt that they’d lost an innocence prior to or even after the fact, sometimes years later, that had a more significant impact on them.

This isn’t about the physical act of sex. It’s about the emotions, the era, and the context that led to and surround the physical act. It’s filled with deeply poignant accounts of of love, lust, hormones, societal pressure, and what effects, if any, the loss of your virginity may have on the rest of your sex life as you grow up and grow older.

It’s not erotica. It’s not a book that tries to sway the reader one way or the other. It’s an honest look at sex through the years and how our attitudes have been shaped by time, knowledge, and feminism.

I think it’s an important read for anyone that feels their bad first time was an anomaly. It wasn’t. Sex is always awkward, uncomfortable and sometimes really painful the first few times around.I’m torn between wanting every young person to read this book and thinking that they wouldn’t be mature enough to handle what it is that is really being said between the pages.

As someone who loves figuring out what makes people tick, I found this to be a great peek behind the proverbial curtain into an area of life that few people ever speak candidly about.


Because this show really does have a GIF for everything…

Sometimes more than just one.

The required disclaimer: I received an e-copy of this book from NetGalley.


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2 thoughts on “Book Review: Losing It: How We Popped Our Cherry Over the Last 80 Years by Kate Monroe

  1. Writer says:

    This actually sounds really interesting…I think I’ll give it a look.

    Also! JENSEN GIFS. Always worth a look-see.

    • angiedet says:

      It’s probably not something I would’ve originally shelled out money for before reading it but I was pleasantly surprised at the book as a whole.

      Jensen makes everything better. I should start ending all my posts with Jensen/SPN gifs because there’s always something that fits. Hmm…

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